He stood in front of a million people with a flamboyance and aura that told you from the onset, that this was a man who had meticulously mastered his art. His followers staunchly followed him, some even claiming that he had a direct phone line to God, and when not on the phone to God, he was actually speaking to God face to face. His message was simple “Zambia shall be Saved.” Despite the fact that most of his followers lived in abject poverty, tithes can in fast and thick. You could tell from his designer cut suits and lavish lifestyle. I remember been at ones of his sermons and feeling compiled to donate the last few coins between me and poverty, it was only when it clicked that I still had 28 days before payday that I decided I would give salvation a pass this time. In an era when most clergy preached in old church building that literally transformed into ovens in the baking African Sun, he was buying air time on national television, with his conferences been held in 5 star hotels. But hey, who said salvation comes on the cheap, and that a man of God has to be pauper?
There was something odd though about his conversions with God. For those that were not still sucking from their mothers breasts in 1990, you will remember that Zambia was still been ruled by a certified tyrant. He had ruled the country for 27 years with nothing to show for it apart from a life expectancy of 32 years. Every four years that the tyrant held elections in a one party state, it was him and a frog on the ballot paper. I once voted for the frog. Without much digression, the people of Zambia couldn’t stomach the poverty anymore, and a social movement advocating for the return to multi-party politics gathered momentum. It came to be known as the Movement for Multi Party Democracy (MMD). History will tell you that the MMD was actually a sanctuary for some of the most insalubrious characters in the country: coup plotters, drug dealers, money launders, basically any individual with a loathing of the tyrant.
To the astonishment of many people in the country, the man of God, and gold at this point stood in front of the pulpit and warned the whole nation how not voting for the Tyrant would led to bloodshed and un foretold misery for the entire nation. The tyrant, according to the man of God, had been bestowed as an everlasting gift from God himself. If you added a bit more to your tithe, the man of God could intercede between you and God and you could ask God yourself. Yes, if the MMD won, they would be bloodshed in the country.
Despite voter apathy with only 42 % of the electorate turning up, the 1991 general and presidential election passed without any significant incident. The tyrant was emphatically humbled with his party winning a paltry 25 seats out of the 150 contested…… to cut a long story short, it is alleged that the man of God decided God must have been lying to him. He decided to abandon his flock and join politics full time. Politics is the fastest way to get rich in Zambia. Ironically, he is now the president of MMD.
But God’s work is always there, people need to be saved. After the man of God had joined politics, others have come and filled the space he left. People like the man of GOLD (this is not a typo) that’s sees a potential wife in all the women in his choir. When his not dealing with the women in the choir, he is trying to defraud his followers of the GOLD he bought from their tithe. Just the other day, I saw another self proclaimed champion of justice waving a red card….. And please believe me, it wasn’t at a football match either. Now I hear God is telling him to run for presidency in 2016. I feel embarrassed to catch God lying again.
…….to be continued
By HN